Tohru's er um a womans mind
by theaflamed
Summary: Kyo and Yuki are trying to understand the feminine mind by following Tohru around. What things will be discovered on their journey? Each chapter will be individually rated for content, so beware...
1. So it begins

Disclaimer: I do not own Faruba…yet

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Curiosity Almost Killed the Neko

It was a typical morning at Shigure-sans house. The only major difference was the incredible heat which was unusual for the early summer months. Kyo was baking under the red hot sun on his favorite place on the house… the roof. Yuki was in his room reading about gardening and how to keep them alive in such insane heat (all you Americans know what I am talking about. It's like 102 there rite now). Shigure was writing one of those side novels that he name "Summer Dreams, A Naughty Yaoi" for his own pleasure. Tohru was alone in her room, and unusually doing nothing. Must be this heat.

Anyway Kyo then decided it was time he got off the roof before he started frying like an egg. He used the ladder on the side of the house and on his way down he saw Tohru lazily lying down in a "suggestive" position. Sweat was running down her neck and in-between her breasts. She wiped it off and moaned in agony. Shi-san's house does not have air conditioner so they have to keep all the windows open. Kyo couldn't help but stare, but then a thought hit him. What are girls really like? What do they do behind closed doors? More specifically what does Tohru do? All he ever sees her do is work and then sleep, maybe the occasional side trip with Momiji to the hot springs

"It's not nice to look into other's rooms peeping tom" said a familiar voice from below. It was Shigure.

"Ack!" Kyo yelled as he fell on his back from the ladder. twitch twitch "What was that for!"

"Baka Neko don't yell like that," said the irritated Yuki, "What were you doing just now anyway?"

Shigure smiled slyly (dirty shigure- shame –shame but that's why we luv him)

"Well I was just…" Kyo said blushingly.

"What peeping baka neko?"

"HELL NO KUSO NEZUMI!"

"He's right Yuki; he doesn't have the guts…"

"IT'S NOT LIKE THAT!"

"Ano" said a small voice from above. Tohru looked down from her window. "Minna? Is everything ok?"

"Don't worry Honda-san, everything is fine," Yuki said calmly with a smile on his face.

"Ok," she then wobbled away from the window, "Stay cool ok?"

Noticing that now holding there conversation was dangerous they wandered into the living room and sat down on the tatami mats. Kyo then tried to pick up and somehow explain his actions.

"Don't you ever wonder about girls? What girls like Tohru do?"

"Ahahahaha who says spring comes but once a year?" Shigure said almost proudly.

"Why is it any of our business what Honda-san does?" Yuki stated plainly.

"Kyo does carry a good point though," Shigure started to preach, "The female world is all but a mystery to you to youngsters; however I have plenty of…"

"Lalalala!" Kyo interrupted, "I don't wanna hear about your experiences."

"Well boys, maybe you should find out. You can't very well find out about girls with anybody else considering our current situation, being animals and all. And you can't find out from other Zodiacs cause that makes things weird and complicated."

"Hmm I guess your right, no one else is suitable."

"So you are interested Yuki."

Yuki rested his hand over his mouth, looked toward the ground and mumble "Somewhat…"

Both Kyo and Yuki were bothered by the fact that they would be stalking… I mean ahem snooping on Tohru. But what other choice did they have if they wanted some questions answered. This also meant however that a neko and a nezumi would have to work together to explore this teenage girls life, what mischeif will they get in. ba ba bum (corny music)

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Ok people this first chapter kinda sucked but stick with me. The next chpt will be up in a few days! If you have any ideas please contribute. O yea if I made rated M fanfic with yoai or hentai would you look at me as a writer any differently? Plz leave comments, flames and all! I need to know if I really suk! But that doesn't mean I won't finish the story. I am thinking about sending them to a lingerie store. O the fun 


	2. Tohru Goes Shopping

Chapter 2: Tohru Goes Shopping

Disclaimer: umm everyone knows that none of these fanficts belong to anyone so y do we keep doing this...anyway i like fruit but don't own Faruba

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"Well first you have to learn to snoop without getting caught, so start small"

It was Shigure's _advice for the day_. The thought ran through our rambunctious boys heads for most of that remaining day. So to start their great stalker… ahem I mean GREAT adventure they had to start small. They would follow Tohru shopping to hone their skills.

-Note! - I am not trying to promote stalking to be a great adventure! (although it is fun…)

Tohru had announced earlier that she had to go shopping for a few things later that day anyway, so the window of opportunity was open. They got up earlier than usual on that Sunday to prepare to go out. As they sluggishly went downstairs (Yuki seeming much more tired than Kyo) they were greeted by the _O too happy_ Tohru.

"Ohaiyo minna! Ahh breakfast is not ready yet, could you wait?" she said with a vibrant smile.

"How could she be soo happy in the morning?" the boys said in unison.

They of course threw some threatening glares at each other for even thinking the same thing, but eventually they sat down to eat the food Tohru had made.

"Ok minna, I am leaving now! Tadaima!"

"Jaa Shigure" said Yuki after Tohru left. Kyo walked out of the door without saying anything really.

"Yuki? What about your garden? Don't you think you should water it today? The heats going to be terrible!" he dramatically said knowing full and well he really wanted and needed to follow Tohru today before she got away but really loved his garden.

Irk "The garden will be ok for 1 day" irk

Shigure was laughing on the inside but put on a dramatically sad face anyway "O the tragedy, let us pray they survive!"

Yuki gave a weak smile at Shigure's theatrics and dragged himself out of the house. They followed Tohru through the town and into the shopping district.

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"Hey Yuki, this isn't the food district…"

"Baka neko."

"What?" he yelled.

Tohru looked back. But the two boys quickly jumped into some bushes to the side. "Oro?" Tohru could've sworn that she heard someone familiar. She decided she was just being silly and continued walking. After things calmed down and it was safe to come out Kyo realized he dove into some thorn bushes. Yuki, of course, with his unclouded mind jumped into the non thorny bush in the bunch.

"Baka baka neko…"

"Grr be quiet…"

They moved through the busy streets, trying not to be stopped by anyone familiar. I mean they are both pretty popular in their school whether they liked it or not. Suddenly Tohru stopped at a store window. She stared long and hard at whatever was in the window.

"What's she staring at?" Kyo asked as they crouched behind a corner that led to the alleyways.

"You sure do talk a lot… let's wait and see."

Not even a few seconds had passed before an evil shadow came lurking from the alleyways behind them. He greeted them with the classical "Hey Punks". Both Yuki and Kyo turned around to find a gaijin with a body full of tattoos standing tall behind them. He was wearing a muscle shirt and a baseball cap. He looked like an American thug who was hired for his services, except not. Yuki stared in seriousness at the character while Kyo automatically dismissed him as "_not worth it_".

"I don't like you girly punk, give me everything you got."

Of course with a comment like that Yuki snapped. Not only was this complete stranger trying to rob them but he made a comment about his looks which he only let fellow classmates get away with. The gaijin swung at Yuki, but he gracefully dodged it. The man kept on trying to hit him but Yuki never fell victim to even one of them. "Tsk," Kyo remarked, "Just hurry up with it." Yuki was about to deliver the final blow until

"Yuki-kun!"

Yuki turned around, "Honda-san?" but he left himself wide open for a blow which incapacitated him for only a little bit... But Kyo was getting tired of waiting for them to end this battle. They wasted enough time, so he grabbed Yuki by the legs and started to swing Yuki at the mugger. Kyo cursed at Yuki saying it was only a girl across the street referencing to another yuki while he was flailing Yuk around. Kyo and the "Yuki-stick" left the mugger in pretty bad shape. Yuki sat down to get over his dizziness and Kyo stood tall and proud over the injured mugger. Cops from across the street.

"Hands over your head!" the cops yelled with whistles and all.

"Officers… thank goodness you're here you see…"

"I said hands over your head ASSAILANT!"

"ASSAILANT!"

Kyo did as they asked. He might be hot tempered but didn't want to attract anymore attention from the public. Thank god there were no women cops though. Also it was great that Tohru went into the store and couldn't see all of this. An ambulance arrived on the scene to take the still dizzy Yuki and the now crippled mugger away.

"Can I please exp…"

The cops interrupted him, "How could u attack an innocent civilian and a foreigner?"

"Demo!"

The car door was slammed in his face.

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Hours later the cell doors opened and from the light appeared Shigure. He had a devilish gaze in his eyes but tried to look as calmed and serious as he could. I mean he was in charge of the two as their legal guardian for the time.

"Sohma Kyo you are free to go. Sorry for the mix up but the criminal confessed and was pleading to be locked away from you."

This was a pleasing thought to Kyo that he could be that good a beating them up. But he then realized something and yelled "WHAT! I…"

Shigure grabbed his face before he could say something that really could cause him to go to prison. Shigure apologized for Kyo's behavior giving a long explanation about teens imadoki (imadoki nowadays). Emerging from the police station Kyo and Yuki's eyes met and quickly looked at the ground so they wouldn't see Shi-kun's expression.

"To think you 2 have learned nothing from me…" Shigure stated

silence

"Well Que Sera Sera is what I always say; so try again another day.

more silence The silence caused mostly by their humiliation lasted until they entered Sohma turf.

"Ahh maybe you are right Shigure, I think taking care of my garden will clear my head." Yuki stated

"What kinda sissy has a garden?" Kyo laughed

WHAK Yuki swept a quick and painful, yet deserving, punch that flew Kyo although into the setting sun. (We all know what that looks like if you watch anime )

"About your garden Yuki kun…" Shigure said tapping his fingers together. Yuki wandered toward his secret base.

"AHHHH! SHI-GU-RE!" Yuki said threateningly with flames in

"Ahh brother!" said a happy Ayame-sama, "Shigure told me of your quest to discover the female world and heard of your gardening dilemma so I came over to water your plants, but I am afraid that things got a bit out of hand."

"Only A BIT?" he yelled as a carrot wistfully went 'down river', "My garden was never meant to be a moat!"

Ayame went on about brotherly bonding and women in general, and then Shigure input his last words of the day.

"Look at the bright side…" He was interrupted by a death glare.

SO with Kyo flying into the blinding sun, Yuki's garden experiencing the flood of the century, Ayame babbling, and Shigure not saying anything to Yuki directly for the rest of the day, ends their tiresome adventure for today. Maybe it will work out next time…

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Yea well this chpt wasn't as well put together as I had hoped. I guess its b/c I have been writing soo much fanfiction over the past couple of days my heart wasn't in this completely. PoT fans can check out my new fanfict about Why I love PoT. Please comment! Flames are accepted:) 


	3. Another Day, Another Attempt

Chapter 3

The Next Day, A Second Attempt

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Tohru was once again in the shopping district the next day, but with an announced purpose of buying a kotetsu blanket, although it was summer a big inventory sale was going on somewhere. Its like buying winter clothes during the summer, its cheaper. Kyo and Yuki was once again trailing Tohru to discover the mysteries of the female specimen. Kyo today was wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses to hide his identity because of yesterdays… incident. Lots of people saw him get arrested that day but at least Tohru was a little too ditzy to find out. So what was Shigure's advice for today before they left the house?

"Boys, be sure to keep it simple… and avoid dark alleyways."

Yesterdays attempt was well… to shameful to type up again sniff sniff

"Don't mess up kuso nezumi."

"You're the one who went to jail baka neko"

"Argg if you didn't suck at fighting…"

"Shhh," Yuki whispered smaking Kyo's face into the concrete.

Kyo managed to lift his face and see Tohru in front of the same store again. The other day when she was here she didn't buy anything so maybe she decided she DID want something. They looked at eachother, which gave them the right away to go ahead and follow her into the store. Yuki was leading the way and Kyo followed close behind. All of a sudden Yuki stopped causing Kyo to run into him.

"Hey!" Kyo yelled getting his second head injury for the day, "What the hell?"

He looked at Yuki and he was staring dead cold at the store. He could see the sweat forming on his forehead. Kyo followed his eyes, looked through the galss and found out why… why he hesistated.

Shall I Keep You In Suspense?

It was a lingerie store…

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Yea this chpt was short but that is because I am still writing the next part but I thought hearing some of your ideas of what should happen mite help. I am looking into a thing where one of our characters gets to c Tohru wear a certain something, but we will see! Thank you for reading this! 


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